the matrix definition of the word ‘commitment’ has a subtle ‘feeling’ of ‘burden’ or an 'irrational' sense of fear and resistance linked to it, since we are educated to conclude that ‘commitment’ implies the ‘loss’ of one’s 'freedom' and ‘lightness of being’.
the word commitment is often accompanied by a little voice in the head going: "i want to control my world, but hey, i cannot lose control" - that's ego.
looking into the practical living of the word ‘commitment’, I realize that real, actual, living commitment is always in-fact Self-Commitment.
even within a commitment that involves another/other beings, one’s commitment is in essence always a commitment of self: self-commitment.
no commitment can ever be real if it is based on ‘feelings’ of obligation, guilt, fear, desire, expectation etc.
no commitment can ever stand if it isn’t based on equality here as self: self-commitment.
it is often a 'fear' of actual responsibility/accountability, in essence 'fear of self', that keeps us from committing ourselves to life as who we really are.
what i found within my process is how ‘fear’ is basically used as justification - and how whenever i was facing a point of 'fear', i was actually facing a point of 'ego'.
ego - the point of separation as what we have become as systematic existences in this world; ego –the point we tend to defend with all means, and yet –
what everybody wants and desires is 'connection' and 'intimacy' – and to ‘get there’ and really live these words ‘here’, we have to let go of ‘ego’.
the words ‘connection’ and ‘intimacy’ exist in most of us in separation from self; instead, they exist from the starting-point of both 'desire' and 'fear' – we want it and fear it at the same time, and so this systematic existence as ‘ego’ makes sure we don’t push enough to break through our self-limitation and actually live!
fascinating;
hen our words are based in polarity, we end-up going around in circles, instead of living our words in a way that self is the starting-point in equality and oneness as life.
what is also interesting:
'connection' is a word mostly relating to 'self toward others', 'intimacy'/'self-intimacy' is a word mostly relating to 'self toward self' ---
what i’m realizing is that through 'commitment' to life in/as self-honesty : one push oneself 'both' within ('self-intimacy') and without ('connection') as one and equal, within a process of self-realization as 'making self real' and equal to what it is one will oneself to stand equal to and live as one.
this oneness then is not of ego, but of self; self-acceptance as life here; i am here, as one and equal -
and within this, i accept my connection with all as life.
we are able to live this connection with each-other as self, in equality & oneness and mutual support/self-support in self-honesty as life. this will bring forth a new definition of life/living.
self.real.ization.
let’s make this happen, let’s make this real – let equality & oneness of life be the reality we are creating!
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Awesome! There's no need to 'connect' to another as we are already here as one - we just have to coexist as equals and thus first establish that point of self-intimacy - getting to know ourselves, sharing ourselves, supporting ourselves and within doing so we go creating the actual equality point that starts with Self - self sharing self as equals dis-covering that all that's been on the way to live as equals is the ego -
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