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Looking at a pattern of ‘communication’ where instead of being straight-forward within and as self-directive power, one will rather ‘wait’ for the other to ‘come forward’ and give direction or make a suggestion one can ‘relate’ to.
Why is this a problem?
If one ‘wait and see what’s coming’ to then accordingly interact – What does that imply? One is not communicating, one is reacting. Action-Reaction accumulated, one will end-up in a chain of reactive patterns not knowing how one got there.
Action-Reaction is not Communication.
Why is this a problem?
If one ‘wait and see what’s coming’ to then accordingly interact – What does that imply? One is not communicating, one is reacting. Action-Reaction accumulated, one will end-up in a chain of reactive patterns not knowing how one got there.
Action-Reaction is not Communication.
Reactive behaviour stems from lack of self-determination: Out of ‘fear of being direct’, one will behave ‘indirectly’ and attempt to anticipate and manipulate another and/or one’s reality.
If we look at this perceived ‘infeariority’ (‘fear of being direct’) more closely, we can see that it is but a justification for cowardice and self-dishonesty. Fear always hides self-dishonesty and that is a ‘flag-point’ we can use to assist and support ourselves with effective self-direction.
What is the ‘fear’ actually about? Let’s see: Being direct and communicating straight-forward implies Responsibility – Self-Responsibility and accountability for ‘who I am’ and how I co-exist and interact within my world.
Thus, ‘fear of being direct/directive’ is ‘fear of self-responsibility’/’fear of accountability’. What does that imply? That one does not trust oneself to direct oneself and one’s world as best for all and be accountable for every thought, word and deed.
If we look at this perceived ‘infeariority’ (‘fear of being direct’) more closely, we can see that it is but a justification for cowardice and self-dishonesty. Fear always hides self-dishonesty and that is a ‘flag-point’ we can use to assist and support ourselves with effective self-direction.
What is the ‘fear’ actually about? Let’s see: Being direct and communicating straight-forward implies Responsibility – Self-Responsibility and accountability for ‘who I am’ and how I co-exist and interact within my world.
Thus, ‘fear of being direct/directive’ is ‘fear of self-responsibility’/’fear of accountability’. What does that imply? That one does not trust oneself to direct oneself and one’s world as best for all and be accountable for every thought, word and deed.
It is easy to leave it upon the other to direct, while one simply ‘wait and see’. Being a Re-Actor one can blame another or blame one’s world, as one abdicate Responsibility for what is ‘happening’ to oneself and others in one’s world.
Being directive, one is an ‘activist’, a ‘practivist’. Taking self-directive power, one will communicate oneself directly, and will consequently take self-responsibility.
Because we either sit and wait and allow for things to ‘happen to us’, or we must ‘make things happen’ by our own directive will, in self-responsibility.
In the Communication model, within Actual Communication, both individuals are able to stand in equality and oneness and equally communicate self-directive will. The responsibility that goes with the consideration of equality means that the systems created within and through Communication will consequently serve what’s best for all as support to ‘who we are’ and how we are directing ‘our Here’, our common ground.
Communication is about communicating SELF, communicating directly ‘who we are’; When we communicate about points it is within the context of sharing ourselves and/or building support-structures for ‘who we are’.
In the Action-Reaction model however, one will create systems in separation, as personas and ideas through which one attempt to ‘communicate’ – thereby completely ‘missing’ oneself and each-other.
Communication is ‘physical’, direct and open in nature; it is ‘what is here’, as ‘who we are’. It is ‘immediate’. Responsibility is the 1+1 ‘consequence’ one will inevitably realize.
In the Communication model, within Actual Communication, both individuals are able to stand in equality and oneness and equally communicate self-directive will. The responsibility that goes with the consideration of equality means that the systems created within and through Communication will consequently serve what’s best for all as support to ‘who we are’ and how we are directing ‘our Here’, our common ground.
Communication is about communicating SELF, communicating directly ‘who we are’; When we communicate about points it is within the context of sharing ourselves and/or building support-structures for ‘who we are’.
In the Action-Reaction model however, one will create systems in separation, as personas and ideas through which one attempt to ‘communicate’ – thereby completely ‘missing’ oneself and each-other.
Communication is ‘physical’, direct and open in nature; it is ‘what is here’, as ‘who we are’. It is ‘immediate’. Responsibility is the 1+1 ‘consequence’ one will inevitably realize.
Action-Reaction is of ‘mind’, secretive in nature, based on interpretations of what is here. It is ‘mediate’. Responsibility is abdicated in fear of ‘consequence’.
We can see that Self-Honesty as ‘Man Know Thyself’ is imperative in the self-realization process of mankind.
Because when one know oneself, consequence is not something to be feared or avoided; Consequence is simply the common-sensical outflow of ‘who I am’, the outcome of the steps I take in every breath : Self.Response.Ability. And when one’s ‘account’ is clear, one make oneself ‘able’ : Account.Able
We must push ourselves to learn how to truly communicate; with ourselves first, to firstly take responsibility for who we are and how our existence affects our world – and then with each-other based on the principle of equality and equal respect.
We can see that Self-Honesty as ‘Man Know Thyself’ is imperative in the self-realization process of mankind.
Because when one know oneself, consequence is not something to be feared or avoided; Consequence is simply the common-sensical outflow of ‘who I am’, the outcome of the steps I take in every breath : Self.Response.Ability. And when one’s ‘account’ is clear, one make oneself ‘able’ : Account.Able
We must push ourselves to learn how to truly communicate; with ourselves first, to firstly take responsibility for who we are and how our existence affects our world – and then with each-other based on the principle of equality and equal respect.
We must learn to be directive, taking on the self-directive will to shape our world explicitly.
We must be straight-forward and responsible, to live without shame, to live without regret, embracing ourselves and each-other in mutual recognition as life.
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Thanks Bella, really cool support.
ReplyDeleteCool point - i can relate to it - as long as i allowed myself to exist within insecurity/inferiority i allowed myself to abdicate self responsibility by waiting for others to direct a point so that i won't have to be accountable for my words.
ReplyDeletewhat i've seen is fear of being exposed as self dishonest if one would see that i've reacted within my words and didn't unconditionally supported the other. though now i realize that if i am to be exposed - i'll face myself and have the chance to correct myself.
Ok, thanks Bella.