Love in this world has been defined through the consumerism consciousness of self-interest (see the documentary The Century of Self for an extensive background on the development of ‘modern civilization’ as we know it today), and definitions of love has been impulsed onto us through the different media in an idealizing manner, resulting into various consequences in terms of what we think of love, how we struggle to experience love, and what illusions we tend to create as ‘love’ in our attempt to deny the physical actuality of ourselves and this existences, our attempt to suppress the ‘negative’, the suffering, the ‘dark side’ of ourselves and this world, our attempt to avoid taking responsibility for life.
We have become ‘happiness machines’ and ‘love’ has become the drug which we use to either seek the bliss of enlightened self-interest or to become comfortably numb.
So – love has become an idea, a concept, an illusion of grandeur and profoundness, when in fact our practical physical living in this world gives no evidence of love, no evidence of a loving reality within ourselves and our world, this existence.
How can love exist in a world where separation, self-interest, war, conflict, rape, starvation, exploitation prevail?
We fight in the name of love, we hate in the name of love, we kill in the name of love.
How have we missed to make love practical?
What are the mental projections and concepts of ‘love’ that we’ve deluded ourselves with – to such an extent that we’ve lost all practical connection to reality as ourselves and this world?
We can see definitions of love in all fields of our consumer consciousness field: media, movies, money-system, education, religion, spirituality...
You will also note that those that are possessed by ‘love’ will refuse to consider anything else but that love is the answer -- and there will be no practical way they can explain how love will change the world and regardless of this obvious oversight, their egos will spew one word like magic poison: ‘love will heal the world’ -- they should watch the news to see that the only love on the Telly is the love the corporations are promoting as love for their products. [1]
How do we redefine LOVE to be a living word that will in fact change the experience of ourselves as humanity, as a whole, as existence?
Love is: to not give up on yourself or others/existence - but to be willing to stand no matter what, to not accept or allow anything less than what's best for all; and be willing to take the risks/actions necessary to get this done. [2]
When we look at the practical-living of love, it is not in the words “I love you”, it is not within one person making another person feel ‘special’ or ‘wanted’ or ‘desired’, it is not the stroking of your ego, it is not accepting each-other the way we are because that would imply that love is a lock-down of personalities so that they never change as they have found the point that accept ‘just the way they are’ and therefore they will not expand, they will not grow, they will not consider anything else since the ego/personality is ‘satisfied’. That is not love.
Love is NOT an experience - it is a living reality you participate in with another being and existence as a whole. [3]
Looking at love in the context of relationships we can see that the point of love has been extremely sexualized in all aspects. One cannot possibly ‘have’/’get’ love without participating in comparison, competition, jealousy. Further, obsession, possessiveness and fear of loss play a role in ‘keeping’ the love one ‘has’. Seduction, manipulation, deception are further phenomena in the context of ‘love’ in this world.
We sell ourselves for love in all possible ways. Love becomes the context where we compromise ourselves just to ‘have’ that little bit of attention and acceptance that we mostly don’t give to ourselves. Within that, touch has become a tool of hidden messages and manipulation, as beings do not actually get to know each-other and self beyond the boundaries of the personality traits we present ourselves as; we do not learn to actually communicate, support and assist self and each-other to express, expand, flourish.
Can you allow yourself to be touched by another without it becoming immediately a sexual projection?
Why can people not touch each other in support to just convey ‘I am here with you’ = in the touch? [4]
How do we redefine TOUCH to be a living word that will in fact change the experience of ourselves as living beings, and through that change the experience of our whole existence?
Touch as the living word is how a mother and father will hold and touch a new born baby or how you would hold a puppy when you bring it home... [5]
Touch as the connection/embracing of a physical-manifestation/ body for a moment sharing the contact of being here together with each other [6]
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| Photography by Marlen |
Touch is the evidence of I am Here.
But what am I here as?
Our touch has been throughout our lives coloured with all kinds of symbols, depending on what we have gone through and experienced, the relationships we’ve had and the ones we’ve witnessed. It’s like we’ve lost touch with our own touch, our own physical, our own presence, as our presence has been and is being defined through the consciousness of our conditioned mind – the mind that exists in polarities of fear and desire, thus: we never express directly, but through patterns of the mind.
The same with Touch.
It is a challenge for all human beings to let go of the conditioned existence we have accepted as who we are and get back to self, to the simplicity of I am Here, to the purity of touch – Touch without hidden agendas, without future projections, without the need to control the outcome, without the expectation to get something out of it.
Simplicity in the direct communication as I am here – the straightforwardness of pure touch can be the greatest comfort in this world ...and perhaps a way to change it!
Give up sainthood, renounce wisdom,
And it will be a hundred times better for everyone.
Give up kindness, renounce morality,
And men will rediscover filial piety and love.
Give up ingenuity, renounce profit,
And bandits and thieves will disappear.
These three are outward forms alone; they are not sufficient in themselves.
It is more important
To see the simplicity,
To realize one's true nature,
To cast off selfishness
And temper desire.
And it will be a hundred times better for everyone.
Give up kindness, renounce morality,
And men will rediscover filial piety and love.
Give up ingenuity, renounce profit,
And bandits and thieves will disappear.
These three are outward forms alone; they are not sufficient in themselves.
It is more important
To see the simplicity,
To realize one's true nature,
To cast off selfishness
And temper desire.
At Desteni we walk the process of transforming the conditioned existence of ourselves into self-directive living through self-will in self-honesty – to no longer be puppets on the strings of the mind, but to stand equal to and one with the entirety of self and take responsibility for who we are in every moment, with every word, thought and deed, in everything we participate in and everything we touch.
Let's make Love something we can Touch -
something all can see, live and practically experience as the fabric of our existence in all possible ways!
[1] [3] [4] [5] Bernard Poolman
[2] [6] Sunette Spies
[7] Lao Tzu: Tao Te Ching
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